(got) better

well my bed plan didn't really work out. it's surprisingly difficult to stay in bed for a whole day. you need collaborators in order to achieve that kind of longevity. i have a dog who whined every time i turned over (only after the time i'm normally up - he doesn't do that all night!) and a partner who just looked bemused when i asked for provisions. "are you going to stay in there all day?" he asked, and not in a good way. and to be honest, after a book and a half, i started to get a bit bored. it was great while it lasted though.

i'm feeling better now. and productive. i've worked at home today - got loads (of actual work work done, hemmed my new trousers, patched old blue jeans, started a 2 gallon batch of gooseberry wine, and even emailed my oma. yay. doubtless after this spectacular high water mark i will flop into a miasma of unfulfillment for the rest of the week in order to balance it all out.

hope your days have been good to you too -

attacked

1030 pm last night: slight, but ominous scratch at back of throat.
1230 am this morning: woken by apparent desire of throat to exit body through whatever means (all painful) necessary. Subdued by copious amounts of ibuprofin and swearing.
830 am this morning: sip coffee, eyes well up in pain. look out window where rain is lashing down again (still?) and seriously consider remaining in bed. possibly forever.
930 am post arrives. previously ordered book in post. plan bed confirmed.

one day of summer

london did one of her spin-on-a-ten-pence maneuvers today, and - after what feels like about 6 weeks of wind and rain - shot up 15 degrees and nearly roasted us to death in what had to be nearly 100% humidity and 28 degree sun. i had a day of library surveys and spent most of it baking like some sorry forgotten hound in the back of a camden it van. i erroneously wore jeans. in about 10 minutes they were suspiciously soggy and, in a rather bizarre combination, in places scarily baggy and in other places slicked to my skin. none of this was in any way flattering.

humph is back to normal and has much much better breath, always a plus as he is an enthusiastic kisser.

tomorrow is n's birthday - and thus we careen into summer.

toofers

humphrey had to go to the vet today for dental work - he ended up having 7 teeth pulled. bad teeth are a problem for many greyhounds, usually due to mushy food at the tracks - designed for better racing results rather than good dental health. he had to be anesthetized, and was given morphine as well. we picked him up this evening.

he's fine, but now the morphine is wearing off and he is crying quietly. it's heartbreaking. i know he will be ok and i know the work had to be done, but i can't explain to him why he feels like this. poor love.

it brings back scary memories of when he broke his leg, many years ago. that was much much worse, but it's surprising how much of that feeling rushes back. it also, strangely, reminds me a bit of the feeling i had with dad in the hospital - that deep primal fear that comes from not being able to do anything to make it better.

i'm working from home tomorrow, so he will be getting round the clock care from both of us, and i dare say he will be rather spoiled.

the doggy tooth-fairy will be busy tonight!

it's my birthday today. these little markers through the year are interesting, aren't they? they come and they go, and time slows down for a minute before leaping back into action.

it's raining, which is nice as it pretty much removes any residual guilt that might be tempted to muscle in because i am doing bugger-all today. humph is sleeping at my feet and i have just shaken myself out of a two hour ravelry revelry where, in my imagination, i have knit about 4 jumpers and am now a master of stranded colour work. i have been drooling over yarn sites, bought this amazing yarn (!!) and planned happily away. bliss.

i just finished a great book (state of wonder by ann patchett if you are wondering) and am half way through zoe ferraris's new book, kingdom of strangers. it's completely gripping.

we made bagels this morning, and we have a very handsome topside of beef to roast for dinner. n has just handed me a glass of cold crisp white wine. the first apricots from italy are in the farm shop and the english strawberries are perfect to munch on with the wine.

i think we had always taken these quiet days for granted, before everything all went crazy about 6 months ago - first with dad's illness and death (bad crazy) then the wedding (good crazy). but crazy's still crazy, and i don't think i'm going to miss it. i hope i get the chance to not miss it anyways.

i'll leave you with a picture of humphrey, taken a few weeks ago, in the one warm weekend of sun we've had in all these weeks of rain. this is one creature who certainly knows how to relax...

is this a finished cardigan i see before me?

most emphatically, YES.

geo said it best: "We will gather. You will wed. All will be well."

ps

in other news - cardigan going well - only one sleeve left to knit (wonder of wonders miracle of miracles). and apparently the new blogger interface does not do paragraphs. the librarians will get you, you know.

so

i'm getting married next friday. la di dah di dah. how boring. except apparently it isn't boring. apparently you are supposed to be suffused or something - with some sort of "passion". as far as i can understand, this "passion" is supposed to be solely linked to this "happy day". you are only allowed one. (until you breed, then you get more, as long as you are rich enough). i do not have enough words to describe how much i cannot be arsed with this whole thing. the fact that i love n enough to go through with this charade speaks multiple volumes over any state/church sanctioned ideas about *choke* commitment. argh. if the uk had any legal acknowledgement whatsoever of rights we may have as a couple having lived together - you know - a mere 18 years...we would NOT be reduced to this. and on top of all of this i have had to go shopping as apparently clothes are required. i have been shopping all afternoon, trying desperately to find a pair of jeans a 37 year old can wear without divulging her waxing habits. what is with the skinny jeans???? for the love of god, WHAT??? grrrr. grumpy.

sheeps :)

here's a pic of a cardigan i have managed to finish.
it was a christening gift for friends of ours in faversham. this is only my second colour-work project and my tension was a bit iffy - but i think you'd have to be a knitter to notice.

it was remarkably hard to knit sheep that didn't look demonic. i'm fairly sure you shouldn't be reminded of village of the damed when you look at cute sheep on a baby cardigan but that was pretty much exactly the effect when i added blue eyes as the pattern suggested. these sheep are now all blind. it's dilemmas like this that the knitting books never mention...

back in crazy town

with a vengeance.

my darling mother (hi mom!) arrives in two-and-a-half weeks and my schedule of repairs is more-or-less on track although my sanity may be starting to lag. today the new carpet went into the study - it looks lovely. bland, but lovely. n assures me that this is the point. i am no longer allowed to choose colours in this house after the easter bunny vomit incident. stuff that has been in the bedroom and the landing is now migrating back to its rightful home which is more fantastic than i could have imagined when we started this process - less really is less, especially when you bang your shins on more everytime you get in and out of your bed.

we found a sofa that, although ugly, was very cheap, and no one will fall through it which can only be a plus. humph thinks this is the best thing that has happened and we really have to work on the "off" command or no one will even notice that you can't fall through this sofa. we'll replace it with one we actually like when we have time to go find one we actually like. this is the ugly face of choice. you have to go and choose. even if it's choosing pathetic-ness and convenience over any aesthetic sense.

there is still a long list of cleaning to be done (half of which will be scratched in a wine-induced laissez-faire approach sometime late next week) and then there's this whole issue of what to wear and organising the party and - oh god.

i reacted to all of this in the only sane way this morning. when i woke up i just thought fuck it. i'm not going to work today. one day of sorting shit out now will save eons of sanity later. and i didn't. there are definite ups to being a contractor.

i am so sick of this wedding business and this is the complete half-assed approach - i can't imagine how those bride-zillas must feel.

cardigan update: back almost finished - just two inches of ribbing and i'm on to the sleeves. i may actually finish this bloody thing.