Friday, 9 December 2016


it's been a strange week. i've had to think a lot about what is actually important to me, and what i value, but i'm finding this is going head-to-head with my sense of responsibility and, at a more base level, i suppose, greed. (it sounds so much better when you call it a sense of responsibility, no?!)

i think i made the right decision - i'm pretty sure i did - but - but - but - it's one thing to think about earning copious amounts of money metaphorically - it's another entirely when it's actually offered to you. which it more or less was. in a job offer for a bank. doing more or less what i do now - but for a bank (a very very big bank).

aaaaannnnd - i've declined. more than one of my acquaintances has expressed their disbelief at this decision. (it all happened at work through one of our ex-colleagues - there was no way to keep a lid on it.) i myself wonder if it is a sign of extreme sanity or insanity. and i know - it is sanity - but i wonder if maybe in this life a little insanity is what we all actually need. maybe i really am looking a gift horse in the mouth. or maybe i understand the true value of life and live accordingly.

or maybe - it actually doesn't matter and the timing just wasn't right and opportunities come again and you don't have to weave a damn philosophy around it.

it's the last one isn't it?