Self-imposed

Four. 

Four upcoming Christmas gigs now have a dress code of "Christmas Jumper" and no, I do not mean a reindeer or an arctic fox. If only.

There is no escape. It is A Thing Which Is Not Going Away.

I did see several Christmas jumpers in charity shops last weekend. They were, in a word, horrific. More words: cheap, acrylic, pilling, garish, tasteless in the worst possible way (I'm all for tasteless in good ways). I mean maybe once you could wear such a garment. But four times? 

But - am I not a knitter? Why should I be reduced to such object depravity? I will knit something!

Voice of Reason (VoR): the first gig is in 31 days - that's not much time. 

Me: I'll use thick wool - it will be fine 

VoR: For a fair isle jumper?

Me: OK, DK wool. I'll make a vest. No sleeves. All good.

VoR: Um - 

Me: ooooh Jamieson's of Shetland have the perfect red

VoR: It could take a week to get here with the mail strikes

Me: ooooh I can design all my own motifs in a fair isle inspired vest and it will be fabulous!

VoR (subdued): Do you even know how much wool to order?

Me: I can guess - it will be fine!

VoR: whimpers

I mean, honestly, what could possibly go wrong?